Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra? A: Niagara Falls.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction? "A Jail break"
What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside? Coconut.... What were you thinking?
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.