How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!" Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!" Father: "But you have to start with something!"
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.