How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
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"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
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Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
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A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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