Joke #913

How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
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has 24.79 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, math

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Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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has 47.86 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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has 83.25 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, old people
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
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has 39.67 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, drunk, morbid, sex
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father." The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed."
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has 85.57 % from 5032 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, love
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
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has 69.31 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
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has 65.59 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: math
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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has 81.11 % from 511 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3.
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has 42.03 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: math