Q: What is height of forgetfulness?
A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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What are the three rules for being a plumber?
1. Hot water is always on the left.
2. Shit doesn't flow uphill
3. Never chew your fingernails.
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
I did so much crack, one day I broke in my own house.
I ain't lying.
I was halfway out the door with the TV before I realized it was my place.
And before I broke in, I used to stand outside and case the joint.
Finally, I said, "Damn, this brother will never come home!"
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
This could be considered the ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy.
A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry Ive got you covered!
"What are you doing there?"
"I'm making something."
"What are you making?"
"A bomb."
"Can I help?"
"Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Who was the fastest runner?
Adam.
He was first in the human race.