When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent: "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati." "I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent. "That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."