Joke #9265

Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee–If No Recovery!
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
Vote:
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, lawyer
If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven. Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven. Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
"I'm beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money." "Why do you say that?" "Listen to this from his bill: 'For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25'."
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? Answer: His lips begin to move.
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A Preacher and a lawyer both go to heaven at the same time and the Preacher receives his gifts that he had expected and he sees that the lawyer gets this big house and pool. The Peacher asked God: "Why is it that I get the things I've wanted, but the lawyer gets all that?" God Replied: "He is the first lawyer to make it into Heaven."
Vote:
has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, lawyer
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Vote:
has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Vote:
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer