"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?"
"He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
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Similar jokes
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What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
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My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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What's pink and chunky?
A baby with leprosy.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
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A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying.
He walks over to her and asks what's wrong.
"I've never been hugged before" she says.
Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her.
She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before."
The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss.
She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem.
"I've never been fucked before" she says.
So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're fucked."
Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
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