"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?"
"He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Vote:
Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
Vote:
Two cannibals were having their dinner.
One said to the other "I don't like your friend."
The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Vote:
John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
Vote:
My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote:
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
Vote:
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
Vote:
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down.
The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?"
"I liked her."
"Why did you raped the boy?"
"I liked him."
"Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?"
"I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote:
Late in the night he regained consciousness.
He found himself in agonizing pain in the hospital's ICU, with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him.
He realized he'd obviously been in a serious accident.
She gave him a deep look straight into the eyes, and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
That, my friends, is a positive attitude!
Vote: