Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Chuck Norris can land a multi-hit combo with only one punch.
Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.