Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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