Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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