Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
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Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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