The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.