The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris discovered America.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator.
He walked away with a new set of luggage.
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Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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