The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.