The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
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