Joke #9464

What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
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has 29.90 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mr. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. "I have great news. I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.” The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (Atlanta Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid. “Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?” “Yes. Speaking.” AEC guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!” “How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman. “Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the AEC guy. “What are you saying? It’s in your files. HOW?” “Yes. We have a system of finding out who’s overdue.” “GOD! This is too much.” “Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue.” “I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow.” That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning. “What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts. “Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at AEC, “It’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.” “PAY you? And if I refuse?” “Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.” “And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks. “I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.
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has 82.44 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, doctor, phone, wife
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
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has 61.00 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
Teacher: How we use the light? Pupil: To suck it? Teacher: Why do you say so? Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 63.92 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
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has 84.43 % from 559 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
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has 80.08 % from 435 votes. More jokes about: dirty, relationship
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, vulgar, women