Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.