Joke #9535

Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese. At the same time in every sentence.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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