Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...