Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.
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Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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