Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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