Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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