Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.