Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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People sell their souls to the devil.
The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
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Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris.
We decided to go the humane route.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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