Joke #10364

Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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The retired man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts." The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow." The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor, surprised, then states, "Touch your head." The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. and tells the guy to come back in two days. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, "We've found your problem." "Oh yeah? What is it?" asks the retiree. The Doctor remarks, "You've broken your finger!"
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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
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There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
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