Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!