“Oh, I sure am glad to see you,” the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother’s side). “Now Daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us.”
The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked.
“He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit,” answered the boy.
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Similar jokes
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Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
They're going to call her Old Spice.
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When is a retiree's bedtime?
Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
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Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!
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An old lady has asked her priest: "please, tell me, what do you think, will I go after my death to Heaven or to Hell?"
Because the priest has heard this question already at least million times before, so he has decided to tell the old lady the last and final answer, so he has asked her: "and do you still have your own teeth?"
The old lady has said: "no, I have only a dental plate."
The priest has told her: "now, you can see, now, you can see, you will go surely to Heaven because in Hell you can hear only crying and gnashing of the teeth."
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Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night?
A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
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A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row.
The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?"
"Of course the old woman!"
The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like?
A: Depends.
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So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride.
"Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance."
Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him.
"It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye.
"Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?"
"I just don't like her", she replied.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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