According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris doesent need a postage stamp...
He just tells the letter where to go and it gets there.
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The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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