According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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