When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Yo Mamma so fat I took a picture of her last month, and it's still printing.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Once the A-Team used to take care of the bad guys. Then came Chuck Norris. Ever since, the A-Team has been known as the Ghostbusters.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"