There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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