There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said
"I bet I can walk across the water."
He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said
"They did it that means I do it." ,
He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?"
Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
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