How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
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What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army.
General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall.
They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?"
"Very well trained, Peter."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says:
"James!
I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy?
It'd kill me, you idiot!
I'm out of here!"
As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.