How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
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How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed."
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?"
The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"
What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man?
Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed.
Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot."
The husband responds, "Who is he?"
The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage."
"Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Why do women make better soldiers?
Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!