Joke #9749

How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.

Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.

Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called "Man, The Master of Womem"? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"

Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.

Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."