How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?
The hero always gets his man in the end.
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Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
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One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
J(ohnny):I want a pistol
S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
J: For shooting cans.
S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
S: And what cans will you shoot at?
J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
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