Joke #9782

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 82.95 % from 548 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Vote: has 79.37 % from 488 votes. Send joke:
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A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
Vote: has 79.24 % from 82 votes. Send joke:
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Vote: has 79.22 % from 122 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Vote: has 79.10 % from 198 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Vote: has 79.05 % from 87 votes. Send joke:
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote: has 78.90 % from 153 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Vote: has 78.50 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Vote: has 77.84 % from 135 votes. Send joke:
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If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 77.83 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
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