Joke #9782

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
Vote: has 80.86 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Vote: has 76.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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