What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?
No ball room.
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Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across?
A: A double dirty crosser.
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry.
Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it.
So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.
Somehow the professor heard about the plan.
In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night."
All the women stood up and started to leave the class.
So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.
While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says: "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.