Joke #9797

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
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A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically,so he asked his dad. His dad said, "Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000." He went and asked and came back and said, "She said yes". "Well", said the dad, "Go ask your sister the same question." He did and came back and said, "She said yes." And the dad said, "Now go ask your brother the same thing." He did and came back and said, "He said yes too!" And the dad said, "Well hypothetically we're sitting on three million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 whores and a fag!"
Vote: has 84.55 % from 500 votes. Send joke:

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What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
Vote: has 38.48 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
Vote: has 72.89 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....and she's always sound asleep."
Vote: has 77.76 % from 241 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, drunk, wife
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote: has 64.92 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Three policemen are sitting in a car. Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already. On thinks of an idea: Guys, lets play golf. All we need is a stick, ball and a hole. I can arrange a stick, – one says. I will get a ball, - adds another. Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
Vote: has 60.73 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
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What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
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Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A: He heard the snow blower coming.
Vote: has 64.34 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, weather