What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
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Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure.
You carry the suitcases!"
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
Mum: "How would you describe me?"
Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK"
Mum: "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent."
Mum: "What about JK?"
Dad: "Just Kidding."
Vote:
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.