What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
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Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher.
The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed.
The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court.
The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that bull came home this morning."
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.