What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?