Joke #9805

What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.
Vote: has 80.15 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

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What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
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How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
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What does a man call true love? An erection.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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