Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
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What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
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A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in.
A: A worm.
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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