Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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