Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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