Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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