Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris can beat everyone. Except for 1 person. Chuck Norris.