Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard. When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.