Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Once you pop, you just can't stop. Unless you're Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.