Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.