Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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