Joke #3433

I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
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The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
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What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
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How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
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The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
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Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
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Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
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Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped. What's a tiger? A stri-ped.
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