I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
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A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
Vote:
Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together.
Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles.
One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home."
The next day, they come to work on a donkey.
After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence.
"I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde.
"I'm not convinced that's our donkey."
"Why not?" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."