I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop?
A: Hopspital.
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
Deviled eggs.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.
What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
"Dead."
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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