Joke #9910

Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bar, Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
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A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
A white horse goes into a bar, and orders a pint of bitter. "Blimey," the barman says, "we sell a whisky named after you." "What, Eric?" says the horse.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, horse
A Navy man walks into a bar, gives the bartender a conspiratorial wink and says, "Quick, pour me a drink, before the trouble starts." The bartender pours a drink and watches as the Sailor downs it in one gulp. The Sailor slams the glass down on the bar and says, "Quick, give me another one before the trouble starts." The bartender pours another glass and the Sailor drinks it as quickly as he had the first. The Sailor pauses, lets out a belch and demands a third drink 'before the trouble starts.' After several rounds of this, the bartender says, "Look Sailor, you've been talking about trouble for ten minutes. Just when is this 'trouble' going to start?" The sailor looks at the bartender and grins. "The trouble starts just as soon as you figure out that I don't have any money."
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has 84.26 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: bar, money, navy, time
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
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A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris