Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
A white man walks into a bar and says to a bartender "Hey nigger. Gimme a beer". The bartender says "Don't say that to me. What happened if I said something like that to you?". "The white man says "I don't know lets find out". They switch places. The black comes in and said "Hey honkey, gimme a f*ckin' beer". The white man says "Sorry. We don't serve niggers"
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.