If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.