If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn...
Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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