If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can fall up.
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.