If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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When Chuck Norris' dreams come true, your worst nightmares begin.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Jurrasic Park is a second name for Chuck Norris' backyard.
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The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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