Joke #9539

A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: bar, Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: bar, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 66.56 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
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has 75.47 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, office, programmer, women
The travelin' Texan picked up a sweet young thang in a bar and after several rounds, ordered the biggest steaks they had. Later, they retired to his room, naturally the largest in the hotel. As they undressed, he said, "I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, and we have the biggest of everything." The girl only nodded and smiled. As they began to make love, he exclaimed, "Golleeeee, lil' Lady! What part of Texas y'all from?"
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: bar, love, racist