Joke #9539

A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.

If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?" The bartender thinks for a minute and then says "It would to be something spectacular to take that offer." The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, who is only 1 foot tall, and a little piano. The piano man starts playing classical music like Beethoven and Chopin. Once he finishes, the bartender is in utter disbelief. He tells the man "You can have free drinks for the rest of the night, but only if you tell where you got this." The man says "In the alley way behind your bar, there is a Genie who is granting free wishes to everyone who wants them." Elated, the bartender heads behind his bar to see if it was true. A few minutes pass and out of the alleyway erupts a cacophony of quacking. The bartender rushes back into the bar and shuts his door against a wave of thousands of ducks. He manages to secure the door and says to the man "I think that the Genie is hard of hearing, because after I asked for a million bucks, these ducks appeared by the thousands." The man chuckles and says "Did you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth

Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.

Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.