Joke #9539

A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bar, Chuck Norris

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Vote:
has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Vote:
has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Vote:
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: bar, Chuck Norris
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Vote:
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, technology
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Vote:
has 52.26 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, hunting
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
Vote:
has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Vote:
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 54.46 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
Vote:
has 57.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
Vote:
has 37.09 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, atheist, bar, catholic, priest