Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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