Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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