What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
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Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy.“
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession.
At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people.
Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this?
The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.”
Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?”
He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!”
So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?”
He responds, “Get on line!”