What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
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What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
A tender, loving hare.
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?"
"I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!"
"Help me please, please help!"
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it?
Jawbreakers.
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm.
He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing."
The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck".
The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!"
"Was it a Jersey cow?"
"I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.