What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.