What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
What fur do we get from a tiger? As fur as possible!
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing? A: Because he's a little hoarse.
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!