What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out.
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What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
What book did the rabbit take on vacation?
One with a hoppy ending.
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
Vote:
"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!