Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up.
"Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
Boy: "Do you like parties?"
Girl: "Yes, why?"
Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.