Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee.
The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible," said the patient.
"How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."