Joke #1597

Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
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I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
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A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
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What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
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A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote: has 70.65 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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