Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"?
A: They want to watch their asses.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns.
"Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver.
"Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99."
The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote:
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico?
The lady replied "A moment..."
Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
Q: What is height of Stupidity?
A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.