Joke #1597

Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Vote:
has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote:
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote:
has 73.54 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
Vote:
has 79.69 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, dog, men, music
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
Vote:
has 84.70 % from 956 votes. More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Vote:
has 68.44 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
Vote:
has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Vote:
has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, women
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: men