Joke #1597

Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, men
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sex, women
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
On his Birthday, a man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him. As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me." Peter happily agreed They had their lunch but on the way back to the office, Anna said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?" Peter replied "I suppose not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Anna said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." He nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And Peter just sat there... On the couch... Naked!
Vote: has 85.86 % from 1508 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, family, food, men
Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot." The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage." "Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, life, marriage, mean, men
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, gym, men
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women