Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
A guy walked into his friend’s office.
He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither. He’s bald."
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane.
During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace.
When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?"
"No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
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Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Ones the bus was full of people.
A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"