The best kids jokes

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
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has 74.15 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: kids
Peter: My mom is having a new baby. Joy: What's wrong with the old one?
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has 74.08 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
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has 73.90 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 73.83 % from 760 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
When terrorists feed their children, do they use the airplane method of "open wide" while making airplane noises? Or do they just smash it into their faces?
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has 73.82 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: airplane, kids, racist, terrorist
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?" Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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has 73.81 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, little Johnny, teacher
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. He saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: kids
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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has 73.33 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids, political
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