The best kids jokes

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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has 72.78 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
Q: What sports team is the least safe around children? A: The Nashville Predators.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids, sport
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 72.58 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
On a men's bathroom wall, someone had hastily scrawled, "I slept with your mother." Underneath it, another person had written, "Go home dad, you're drunk."
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has 72.54 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, kids
Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".
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has 72.35 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, teen
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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has 72.31 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 72.17 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 72.09 % from 269 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
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