The best kids jokes

My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 72.58 % from 392 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 72.58 % from 262 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
A young boy knocked on my door on Halloween night and said, "Trick or treat?" I looked at him and asked, "What have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "But you're not wearing a costume. You've just got your normal clothes on." He said, "Yeah well, it's not a full moon yet, is it?"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, kids
On a men's bathroom wall, someone had hastily scrawled, "I slept with your mother." Underneath it, another person had written, "Go home dad, you're drunk."
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has 72.54 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, kids
Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".
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has 72.35 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, teen
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 71.90 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
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has 71.81 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, kids, music
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 71.80 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor?" "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
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has 71.74 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: kids
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