The best kids jokes

Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success." Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dad, doctor, kids
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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has 72.53 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: accountant, animal, kids, tax
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
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has 72.14 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: business, kids, money
A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
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has 72.12 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, stupid
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
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has 71.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money
Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
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has 71.76 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, Yo mama
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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has 71.67 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says… "Now she knows."
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
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