The best kids jokes

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?" "That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
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