The best kids jokes

Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, priest
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 60.84 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women
It gives me a solution to this whole inner city gang problem that we seem to be having. I just got to get some people behind me, right? I think we need about 20 or 25 grandmothers, give them all belts and do one big drive-by whupping on these kids.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, kids
There was a couple wanted to go out for dinner for their anniversary but they didn’t make it with the babysitter so they had nowhere to leave their little boy! After a lot of talk father came up with an idea! "We will put a vinyl at the pickup deck, something with kid-stories so our little boy will sleep at once and everything will be fine!" "Ok," said the wife. So,that is what they did and went out sure for their plan. After about 2 hours, they arrived back home and listen noise and the boy screaming: "I waaaant,i waaaant,i waaaaant…" They run up to boy’s room and saw the little boy hitting the wall and screaming the same words: "I waaaant!" They wonder about what happened and then they listened to the pickup: "Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story?"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, couple, kids, wife