The best kids jokes

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
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has 63.12 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I’m here for a urine test."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
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has 62.75 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: church, god, kids, music
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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has 62.69 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 62.67 % from 342 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!" I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 62.01 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour? A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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has 61.94 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, morbid
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