The best kids jokes

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
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has 63.48 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend. “Your such an as***!” and she hung up. Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin “Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”. Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word. Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!” Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered “It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.” Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight. When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”. Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.” Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it. When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there. Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is? ”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, phone
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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has 63.16 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
Yo mama so fat, her kids come out of her all at once.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, Yo mama
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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has 62.85 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: driving, kids, money
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