The best kids jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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has 63.05 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids, morbid
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: driving, kids, money
Father: Which one do you love more , me or Mommy? Son: I love you both. Father: Very Well , lets say I went to Japan and Mommy went to France which country will you go to? Son: Japan. Father: See, that you love Mommy more than me? Son: No, I just want to visit Japan. Father: Very well , lets say I went to Japan and Mommy went to France which country will you go to? Son: France. Father: See? Son: No its just because I have already visited Japan.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: kids
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 62.21 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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has 61.98 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
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