The best kids jokes

I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 60.84 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, kids, school, Yo mama
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, kids, religious, sex
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, racist
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids