The best kids jokes

Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Vote: has 60.65 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 60.35 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, women
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child? A: Caps and robbers
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dentist, game, kids
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, kids, school, Yo mama
Kid: "please could I go 2 the toilet" teacher: "say the alphabet" Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz" teacher: "where's the p?" kid: "running half way down my leg"
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, marriage
Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?
Vote: has 59.87 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, knock-knock