The best kids jokes

Knock Knock! Who's there? Zany Zany who? Zany body home?
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has 58.91 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers. On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum... Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"... Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, love, mean
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 58.65 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: cop, game, geography, kids
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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has 58.55 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
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has 58.35 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, wife
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
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