The best kids jokes

The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, black humor, celebrity, kids
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
Kid: "please could I go 2 the toilet" teacher: "say the alphabet" Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz" teacher: "where's the p?" kid: "running half way down my leg"
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More jokes about: kids
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Vote: has 58.38 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
Vote: has 58.09 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, kids, racist
How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, racist