Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
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A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?"
"Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
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One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile.
In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children.
The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.
Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies,
"Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs.
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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue?
A: We have to stick together.