The best kids jokes

Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dad, kids
Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra? A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
Vote: has 56.47 % from 169 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, kids, marriage, sex
*Me when I turn 18* Parents: Do this. Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the last names."
Vote: has 55.93 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, kids
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist


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