The best kids jokes

A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: catholic, kids, work, Yo mama
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
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has 56.71 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, marriage, sex
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
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has 56.09 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: kids
*Me when I turn 18* Parents: Do this. Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, Yo mama
Yo Momma so ugly she makes blind children cry.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, Yo mama
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