Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.