Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.