Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.