The best kids jokes

Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer? A: They never get old.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, kids, racist
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
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has 57.66 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: driving, kids, money
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, party
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids, school
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, wife
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