As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer? A: They never get old.
Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra? A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"