The best kids jokes

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it." "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?" "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hm. Well, where do you catch 'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." "Same here. Hm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids, lawyer
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
Vote: has 57.40 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, kids
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, party
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, kids, work, Yo mama
There was a couple wanted to go out for dinner for their anniversary but they didn’t make it with the babysitter so they had nowhere to leave their little boy! After a lot of talk father came up with an idea! "We will put a vinyl at the pickup deck, something with kid-stories so our little boy will sleep at once and everything will be fine!" "Ok," said the wife. So,that is what they did and went out sure for their plan. After about 2 hours, they arrived back home and listen noise and the boy screaming: "I waaaant,i waaaant,i waaaaant…" They run up to boy’s room and saw the little boy hitting the wall and screaming the same words: "I waaaant!" They wonder about what happened and then they listened to the pickup: "Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story? Do you want to listen my story?"
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, couple, kids, wife