Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Vote:
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
Vote:
Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie?
They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.
Q: What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
A: Caps and robbers
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying.
"Why are you crying?" asked the other child.
"I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger."
When he heard this, the other child started to cry.
"Why are you crying?"
"I’m here for a urine test."
Mum,can i dress a bra?
No.
Why not.I am 14 years old!
How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal’.
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ‘Juan’.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ‘But they are twins.
If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.’