The best kids jokes

When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
So God is getting a bit bored in heaven, and he asks his archangel Michael, "Michael, I need to get away from it all for a bit. Where should I go to clear my head?" Michael replies, "Well, you could always go to Pluto. You could go create a mountain and ski, have a bit of fun." God says, "No, I don't think so. I don't do so well with the cold, and frostbite was definitely not one of my better creations." The archangels says, "Alright, well you could always try Mercury. It's nice and warm, you could just take a bit of time to relax, get a nice tan." "Michael," God says, "do you see how white I am? I would burn to a crisp." Michael replies, "Alright, well then why don't you go to Earth?" "Fuck that," God says, "last time I went there I got some girl pregnant and I never heard the end of it."
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has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, heaven, kids, sex
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex, teacher
A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dad, ethnic, kids, stupid
Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him… Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly. He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?" The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: kids
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, kids, school, Yo mama
My kids get along great when they're sleeping.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: kids
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, Santa
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