The best kids jokes

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
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has 47.81 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: history, kids
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: kids
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
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has 46.77 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: athlete, kids
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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has 46.63 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, kids
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