The best kids jokes

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, kids
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, hospital, kids
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, stupid, Yo mama
A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, ethnic, kids, stupid
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
Vote: has 49.25 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: history, kids
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, kids, party
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life


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