The best kids jokes

*Me when I turn 18* Parents: Do this. Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, kids
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
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has 51.46 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: kids, music
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fish, kids, music
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Let’s try to make this look natural" she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dad, graduation, kids
4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids, school
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
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