Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
Yo Momma so ugly she makes blind children cry.
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months.
One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job.
I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case.
"If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
My kids get along great when they're sleeping.
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present.
Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar.
But one kid got only a pair of socks.
A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid:
LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively.
"So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Q: Why couldn't the witch have children?
A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.