The best kids jokes

Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
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has 53.35 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: kids
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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has 53.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 53.30 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
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has 53.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: kids
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
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