The best kids jokes

Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fish, kids, music
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
One day a mom was cleaning junior's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 50.21 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
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has 50.06 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
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