The best kids jokes

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, celebrity, kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
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has 49.23 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: game, kids, money, work
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 49.13 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
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has 48.83 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the last names."
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has 48.68 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids
What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"
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has 48.25 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: kids
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