The best kids jokes

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
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has 49.63 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: game, kids, money, work
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here’s something for you, Diploma." or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to the University of Virginia and this is what she came home with!"
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids, school
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, celebrity, kids
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: history, kids
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 48.63 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer? A: They never get old.
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has 48.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, kids, racist
How do Chinese people name their kids? Throw a spoon down the stairs. CHING CHANG CHONG TING.
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has 48.41 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: kids, racist
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA? Class: The second one!
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids, political, teacher
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