The best kids jokes

My kids get along great when they're sleeping.
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
Vote: has 52.42 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Vote: has 52.05 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.
Vote: has 51.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
Vote: has 51.72 % from 93 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Vote: has 51.56 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, kids


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