The best kids jokes

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 52.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him… Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly. He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?" The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dad, ethnic, kids, stupid
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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has 52.10 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
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has 52.05 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
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has 51.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, time
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: gym, kids, memory, old people, time
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