The best kids jokes

What has ten letters and starts with gas? An automobile.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
Vote: has 50.36 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, kids, money, work
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
Vote: has 49.58 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids
Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, kids, music
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
Vote: has 46.63 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids