The best kids jokes

One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
What has ten letters and starts with gas? An automobile.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: kids
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time." Then, God came to Eve to pass on some news too. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said. Eve looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have intelligent conversations with Adam. The other organ I have for you is called a vagina. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Adam will be very happy that you now have this organ to give him children." Eve, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" God looked upon Eve and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time. While you're bleeding through one of them every 28 days, the other will remain useless."
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, god, kids
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: history, kids
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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has 47.74 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, kids
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant, age, husband, kids, wife
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