The best kids jokes

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
Vote: has 26.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
Vote: has 26.76 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited. Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, time
What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!
Vote: has 25.74 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote: has 25.64 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, kids
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
Vote: has 24.44 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator.
Vote: has 24.28 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
Vote: has 24.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids