Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves? A: Rasin Brand.
A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen. One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. ‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said. ‘And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin? It was OK. It was a safety pin.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!! Drew: Yes, it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.