The best kids jokes

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
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has 44.47 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: birthday, chocolate, food, kids, mean
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids
"Johny, what is the difference between being sober and being drunken?" Johny: "When I was drunk I didn't need to buy a ticket to the carousel." "Ok, and when you were sober and wanted to go to the carousel what has happened then?" "The carousel man needed to center the whole carousel, of course. The left half of the carousel was for me and the right one for all the small children."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: drunk, kids, little Johnny
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
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has 43.58 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, kids, sex
Most babies born today are very young.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: kids
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
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