Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in a pile of leaves?
A: Rasin Brand.
A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen.
One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said.
‘And I know what we are going to name it, too.
If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin?
It was OK.
It was a safety pin.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry?
A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!!
Drew: Yes, it's really strange.
I've got another pair just like that at home.